Five Things

Rando bits, really

Summer Brennan (A Writer’s Notebook) recommends The Five Things Essay, a writing prompt “to help you find your voice, lose your voice, beat writer's block, or figure out what the hell you want to write about in the first place.” Basically, you type #1 and write about the first thing that comes to mind until you’re finished with that thought, then type #2 and write about the next thing that comes to mind, and so on through #5.

Brennan does not say, “After you’ve finished your Five Things Essay, publish it.”

Neither does Brennan say, “After you’ve finished your Five Things Essay, do not publish it.”

So.

The Five Things Essay I Wrote On My Daughter’s Seventh Birthday

1. As a mom, it’s nice when your kid acknowledges on her birthday that it is also your birth-day. Like, says it out-loud. “Did you know this is the day you gave birth, mom?” (Really? Gosh I’d forgotten all about that.) “What time was I born again?” (Sometime between Where Are My Ice Chips? and You mean the placenta doesn’t just come out?) “Were you tired?” (You have no idea.) “Happy?” (You have no idea.)

2. Meal rotation has become very grim around here. The only thing I can think of to make is tacos. Pork tacos. Beef tacos. Chicken tacos. Fish tacos. I am on taco auto-pilot. Send help! 

3. RJ Davis (UNC BBall #4) should be President. We have seen his decision making skills in action. I trust RJ with the country. RJ for Prez.

4. When a kid gets a new backpack, there is a special joy they take in packing their new backpack “just right” with sharpened pencils and erasers in just the right pockets. Question: Why don’t I take that kind of joy in organizing my house? If I wanted to or was motivated to, I could make a place for all the stuff. Finding a particular something could be easy, like finding the staples in a decent-size company’s office supply room. There could be labels, baskets, drawer dividers. But here I am, sifting through a junk drawer looking for that AAA battery I took out of that tiny flashlight because I KNOW it is not dead It still works Where is it Oh what’s this? A dentist appointment card SHIT THAT WAS YESTERDAY.

5. Is a well-stocked, newly-equipped doctor’s examining room a harbinger of quality care? If I’m looking around and there is a good supply of little black cone-shaped ear-examining-tool covers and three different sizes (S-M-L!) of exam gloves, does that mean I can expect better care? Or is it like the nice clean restaurant that nobody goes to because the food is crap and everybody is chowing down at the shack across the street with the 89.5 sanitation score because THEY KNOW WHAT’S UP.

   Feliz Taco Tuesday!

   

   Primo glove variety.