Laryngitis Lessons
the silver lining of having to shut up
I am dealing with laryngitis and loss of my voice (thanks covid luv u!) and so I’ve had to pretty much stop talking for the past 4-5 days.
And wow if I haven’t realized how much I run my mouth.
All the damn time! And how different it is to experience day-to-day life listening and observing and gesturing in place of talking.
I don’t like losing my voice (it’s frustrating as hell, actually), but I like what it has shown me.
Namely, I notice a lot more. I notice my daughter’s problem-solving process as she sets up a tumbling spot in the living room, instead of rattling off warnings to her about hitting her head. I notice how it feels to lose track of my phone for a few hours, since phone conversations and even voice memos are out of the question. I notice how a good smile can stand in for a “good morning” just fine. Perhaps better, sometimes.
And, how nice it is to just listen, without simultaneously planning a verbal response or reaction. To simply be there for a story or a rant or an observation and then let it settle in the air. Let it be.
Also, there's this, a release of control. Without my literal voice, I have no choice but to relinquish my post as Information Disseminator. If there is something the people really need to know, it’s a white board message or a whisper. (Today is haircut day for you…I already fed the dog.) And the rest – all those important-but-maybe-not-so-important tidbits that I usually spout off under the assumption that if they know all the things they will do the things and all the things will get done and things will be under control – all those things wait. Or become non-issues on their own. Or are miraculously discovered by someone else looking at the calendar. Or end up being dropped balls.
And wouldn’t you know, the world keeps turning.